I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
