if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
MIDGETS
????
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
