Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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