I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
thus making me awesome and them whores
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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