Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
