i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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