I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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