I'm lost and stupid without you.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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