When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Help. Why am I so naked?
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