He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
