great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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