Having a random hookup so left but love u
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's the barista slut.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
