but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
