Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
