I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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