hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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