im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize