Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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