I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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