yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
