I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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