you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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