So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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