So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
