Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
