I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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