C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize