Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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