The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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