he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
