i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
