My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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