I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
