is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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