The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
