Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize