Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize