so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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