Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
