Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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