i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
this will be a night to untag.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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