But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
