His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
