Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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