I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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