Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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