Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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