You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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