i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
