Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
