Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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