It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
