Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
