I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
