Don't you send me to vm
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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