U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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