why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
