What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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