well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
