can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
